[DCFREAKS] Freak Day at Kings Dominion--This Saturday June 27th

[Anthony Tribby]

The dark horde descends upon KD for our annual debauchery and  
enjoyment. Meet at noon in front of the park, or again at 5PM by the  
bumper cars. Tickets are $30 and can be bought on the Kings Dominion  
web site through corporate partners and the code is now DCFRK02.

Last years pics: http://justaputz.multiply.com/photos/album/575/Freak_Day_Kings_Dominion

COMMEMORATIVE 20th Year T-shirts:
We're doing a special run of commemorative t-shirts for the 20th year  
of FD at KD. Since the exact size mix of the people who will turn up is  
unpredictable, we encourage you to pre-order them (before noon Friday)  
in order to guarantee we have one for you:
http://www.clothesthatkill.com/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=13
(if you plan to order more than one please read instructions carefully)

EVENT INFO ON FACEBOOK:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=19452009949&ref=ts


Thousands of years ago…back in 1989…civilization as we know it was a  
weird an’ wacky animal. Jack Nicholson was the Joker. TV thought a  
show like “Baywatch” was a good idea. The Album of the Year was “Don’t  
Worry, Be Happy” (for #@*!! sake!). Fortunately, some freak outta  
Cleveland just put out “Pretty Hate Machine”, so there was hope…

An’ a pack of prime-evils started a little thang called Freak Day at  
Kings Dominion.

Troglodytes! Babybats! Monsters of all ages! It’s time to celebrate  
two diabolical decades of burnt flesh, broken necks, an’ other  
recreational sacrifices! So grab yer Hated-Orb repellant an’ yer best  
stompy boots an’ prepare to march or die! ‘Cos the “Duece X Machina”  
is a-comin’ through, an’ it’s hungry…for YOU!

Geezers an’ the beardless alike should meet at the Main Entrance  
around NOON for for our traditional soul-stealing, discount passes*,  
an’ assumed positions for our allies in Security. Then, around 5  
o’clock, all those not needin’ a hip replacement or a new nappy should  
gather at the Ancestral Home of Blood ‘n’ Bruises known as the Bumper  
Cars for group photos an’ the ritualized combat between “age ‘n’  
treachery” vs. “youth ‘n’ their mad skillz, yo”!

NOW, LISTEN UP: Yeah, I’m sure y’all are “old enuff to know better” or  
“too young to die” blah blah blah…This is the deal. They has rules.  
These rules do not smile on a variety of our vile diversions,  
including, but not limited to…recreational euthanasia, claims of  
“candy” underneath the utilikilt, free-basing of Geritol and/or  
children’s aspirirn, betting on wheelchair drag races, an’ a host of  
sexual goodies (on our shirts or behind the Bumper Cars), includin’ “  
the Big Wheel” an’ especially “Gettin’ Off the Old Man’s Lawn”. Long  
story short, if in doubt, assume the answer’s “NO”. Or at least don’t  
get caught. ‘Cos if the group ends up with a spanking ‘cos of you, yer  
ass will truly learn the meaning of “medieval”…

Dang kids…

*Said passes can be found for $30 on the day of, from the Grande  
Photomancer Putz (limited quantity), or online! Go to http://www.kingsdominion.com/ 
, go to tickets, down to corporate partners, slap in the secret code  
“DCFRK02” an’ SHAZAM! See? Simple! Yer never too old to learn… You can  
print out yer ticket, or have ‘em send it to ya, but that’d cost extra